Prim and proper in Second Life
So, I was minding my own business, checking out some of the tourist beauty-spots in Second Life and generally keeping a customised eye out for a dishonest way to make a fast buck (not an uncommon pastime as it transpires) when I found myself outside the offices of Wired magazine in the middle of the night. Nobody was home (again, not uncommon in Second Life corporate buildings) so I helped myself to a few back issues thinking “at least the advertising will keep me warm”.
It was then that I noticed a fantastically ugly man floating a few metres above me. I knew he wasn’t from the security services by the way he brandished his chicken-on-a-stick at me suggestively. The absence of any sort of clothing was also another give away. Take heed virtual security staff.
Intrigued, and slightly peckish having seen the chicken, I flew up to his level to say “hi” and enquire as to the price of his chicken.
“Hi,” I said.
“I have a dog’s penis,” he replied.
“Indeed you do.” He did.
“Are you into chicken?” he asked and began to dance, brandishing his chicken-on-a-stick all the while.
Second Life conversations are often like this in my experience. I find the best thing to do is to dodge all direct questions related to poultry by changing tack.
“You are remarkably hideous. Congratulations,” I said.
“Thanks. I’m trying to get expelled from every sex dungeon in Second Life,” he jiggled.
“Ambitious.”
“Yes, I’ve nearly done it.”
That explained his presence several metres above the Wired offices. Maybe he needed a fresh challenge. Maybe he, too, was trying to figure out what to do in Second Life. I hope his First Life is similarly ambitious.
